this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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