ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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