I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
