The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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