No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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