my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
