I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Porn is love you can see.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
