I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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