Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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