So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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