Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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