Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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