you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
