hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
