meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
