i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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