We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
