So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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