Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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