You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
