She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have fence marks all over my body
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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