Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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