I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
