Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
