I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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