I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
