Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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