you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
