Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
