You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
