i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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