I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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