his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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