i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
