am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
