oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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