evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
