So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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