you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
