For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
