I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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