he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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