Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
