I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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