Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
