Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
