Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
