You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
