Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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