well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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