Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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