You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
