swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
