Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
