i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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