week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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