so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
